He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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