So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
