haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
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he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
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I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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