You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
