Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
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Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
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you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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