A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
This show inspires me to have sex in space
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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