When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize