That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I FOUND THE LEGS
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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