take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
