69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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