Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize