so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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