I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
there is glitter all over my balls
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
True college students do jello shots in the library
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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