Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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