According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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