is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
