I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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