Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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