you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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