I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize