We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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