he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
