How'd it feel making her break her religion?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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