Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
