At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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