You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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