I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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