she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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