Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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