Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
