the new term for farting is butt boxing.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
