I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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