College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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