..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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