...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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