There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
