Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
