ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
