either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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