People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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