Just fell off a train. Bad.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm at about main and main street
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize