dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize