A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
