For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Come share oat with me in your robe
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
