How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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