Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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