i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
