So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
