Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
