i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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