Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
