I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
