It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
When did angry sex become our thing?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
