We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
