i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
