We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
