Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
