you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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