Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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