I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i need some magic done to my vagina
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
