she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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