I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize