Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
