Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
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The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
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I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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