Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
