After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
